Sunday, May 30, 2010

4

Ah, Memorial Day. You just love these long holiday weekends. They're just hell for people who, like you, even on a normal day, do absolutely nothing. Not that there isn't always plenty to doIt's just that you never get around to doing it. 

You do, however, spend a great deal of time on the couch watching movies, TV, and reading (in just that order of importance), and you caught Clint Eastwood's The Outlaw Josey Wales  on AMC last night.

Of course, you enjoy the movie. You enjoy almost everything Eastwood, from the Sergio Leone stuff to Million Dollar Baby (Changeling, you felt, was too plodding and obvious; Gran Torino? too pedantic and obvious--but hey, the guy's old. You gotta cut him some slack! 

After a while, though, you start focusing on a few things. Namely, the hair. A while back, you read that the Coen Brothers are remaking True Grit (after the novel by Charles Portis) in Grainger, Texas, with Jeff Bridges (nice site, by the way) as Rooster Cogburn (played by John Wayne in the original film--his only Oscar). Anyway, for whatever odd reason, you receive AFC (Austin Film Commision) postings, and you notice that, in the call for extras on the set for the Coen Bros. film, no one is allowed to have artificially colored or cut hair. You imagine that streaks n' wings aren't exactly period. 

You guess that Eastwood didn't really think about that one when directing The Outlaw Josey Wales or while portraying Rowdy Yates in Rawhide). While Eastwood covers his head much of the time with what may or may not be period headwear , you're pretty sure his trademark pompadour is a bit of a creative anachronism. By the way, you couldn't resist the urge to include this hilarious likening of Eastwood's Dry Look (very nice YouTube past-blast original ad) to Hugh Jackman's (you love how Jackman's site is not simply a site, but an experience) coif in Wolverine...

Maybe it isn't. You're no historian. But leading lady Sondra Locke's (and sure, you know you're alone in this, but isn't she odd looking?) 'do, you're pretty sure, can't be right. That flattened-out pre-Farrah look? No. You're pretty sure they weren't doing feathering in the salons back then. 

Otherwise? Besides the awful stereotypes of what Eastwood probably perceived at the time to be sensitive portrayals of Native Americans? All good. 

Just one other thing you notice. Well, not the first time. Eastwood's so nice looking. Why does he have such an unimpressive ass? And why is it so difficult to find a picture of Clint Eastwood from behind? This confirms your theory!

Well, lack of an appealing back side obviously hasn't hurt him any. Clint, no doubt, is clearly very cool. Maybe you shouldn't be so shallow. 

Then again, is there such a thing as being TOO shallow? You either are or you aren't. Degrees might not apply here... 




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